Seeking Imperfection

Here's my first photo attempt. This is me and Paige, Halloween 2007. Just call us the Bee Girls. LOL. Paige had been so into Ariel that I picked out a mermaid costume for her at Toys R Us. She tried it on in the store and told me she liked it and would wear it, even though she'd also liked the bee costume. When we got it home and I tried to get her to wear it, she told me no, that she wanted the bee costume, which I of course didn't like because I thought it was kind of ugly. But, being the sucker...I mean, great mom...that I am, I returned it and got the bee costume.

Since I'm a teacher, I bought a costume for me to wear to school for the school's Halloween parade. On Halloween, the speech therapist came into the room and put on this bee costume to show my kids. I asked her if she needed it for the evening, or if I could borrow it. I told her I had a little bee at home who'd be so excited if I was a Mama Bee. So, she let me borrow it. I came home and quickly put it on in the kitchen while she was in the living room. When I called her in to see me, she was SO excited! That evening we took her to the mall for trick or treating (many of the stores give out candy and stickers and whatnot.) Her crazy...I mean, great mom...wore this costume around the mall with her. It was funny, people kept saying, "Aww, look at the bees." There was a new photo place in the mall, and they were offering free 5x7's of kids in their costumes. Advertising genius, I tell you. So of course we went in. While we were in line, Paige started to tell me she was "all done" with the wings. I told her she wasn't - not until after the picture!

So now you know what a crazy mom I am - and have photographic evidence!

Paige made me smile Friday morning. Of course, I almost said, "Well, you little sh**" to her too, but the smiling is the important part of the memory.

She's been doing pretty well sitting on the potty for a minute to earn her sticker, but of course she still doesn't care much about the squares on the chart. She had about 4 squares left, but still told me she was going to put her sticker up top, over the picture of Ariel on the top of the chart. I told her she could, but that if she filled up all of the squares, she'd get a surprise. She thought about that for a minute, looked at me, and then put the sticker on the line right in the middle of two empty squares. She said, "There, now I have two."

Ugh. Should I be worried about my future with her if she's only two and is figuring this stuff out?

Oh, and the good news is, she filled the chart today and got a little mermaid that "grows" when added to water. She was all smiles and excited about it. She totally "gets" this potty thing...she's just usually too busy to care. Hopefully mermaids will entice her to continue on. LOL

Paige got a Christmas Hershey Bar from Grandma for Christmas. I think it has a picture of a snowman on it. I've been wanting to eat it, but I keep telling myself it is hers, not mine. Of course, no one in their right mind would give a toddler a whole Hershey Bar anyway, so I thought, maybe I could have a piece, but then I started thinking I'd ruin the snowman picture. I just explained this to my friend Michelle, who then proceeded to pick the Hershey Bar up, and break it into pieces, so that this wouldn't be a problem to me now. Is this like some sort of weird intervention technique?

On another note, I just visited one of the blogs I enjoy, and found that there was a post spurred from my blog! I'm so flattered and excited to have made a new blogging buddy. Here's the post. How many of you can relate? (Oh, and by the way, the rest of her blog is fun to read too...not just the stuff that mentions me. LOL)

Paige loves Ariel, The Little Mermaid. But she does enjoy the Princesses as a whole. Today my husband told me that she watched Beauty and the Beast three times at Grandma's. She apparently proclaimed that Beast is "Grumbly...like Daddy."

Paige spends a lot of time with her cousins whom are boys and are a few years older. Today she asked if we could play guns, and told me that, "guns rock!" I told her that they didn't, and that we don't play that here, and distracted her. Later when putting her Ariel sticker on her potty chart, she told me, "Ariel Rocks!" Much better, sweetie!

Tomorrow is my birthday, and Paige's birthday is February 3rd. I told her tonight that tomorrow is my birthday, and then hers is coming up, and we are going to be birthday princesses. She said, "but not Daddy." Then she told me that on Daddy's birthday, "she's going to be a Prince." I'm amused that she's figuring out the difference between princes and princesses, but still has a hard time with "he" and "she." LOL

About a year and a half ago, I bought some Floam for my classroom. Actually, I think mine is generic...it is some kind of "Fun Foam." If you are unfamiliar with the stuff, it is a weird, gooey product - kind of like little styrofoam pellets that are sticky and it comes in different colors. It feels like Rice Krispie Treats to me. Anyway, the package I had consisted of six different colors, all individually shrink wrapped, in one box. I opened one or two of the colors, and felt it, but then - you guessed it, I left it in the box for over a year, waiting for the "right time" to use it. That, and because I knew that once it was opened, I'd never be able to get the colors back in the box the same way they came out. I knew that they would get all mixed together, and I wouldn't be able to separate them, and it bugged me a little. Ok, a lot.

I think maybe I have a little OCD here too. LOL

So, in the interest of continuing my quest to better my perfectionist ways, I got the generic Floam out the other day at lunch. I teach severely handicapped students, and there are some regular education students that come down for lunch every day on a rotating basis. Sometimes they don't know how to talk to or relate to my students, who are nonverbal. So I got out the Floam and it was something they could all try out. They loved it. The only problem was me cringing while one girl made a globe - a blue ball with green continents squished in it. Very nice work, but I just knew I'd never be able to separate those colors! The other girl started making a Valentine's Heart with several different colors. Then when it was time to clean it up, one of the nurses in my room grabbed it all and just squished it all in a disposable Gladware container. I cringed, but I came out of it ok.

I brought some of it home for Paige to try out. She loved it too. When I feel myself bothered by the fact that the colors are mixed together, I try to remind myself that it was sort of a Misfit Toy, sitting there all perfect and never used.

I need help. :)

This morning, after washing her hair, I was joking around with Paige.

Momma: Is your hair pink?

Paige: No, my hair's not pink!

Momma: Oh, sorry...your hair is blue!

Paige: No, my hair's not blue. Grandma's hair is blue.

I am a special education teacher. This is a career change for me, and I'm in the middle of my third year teaching, and it is also my first year at a new job. I spend a lot of time online looking at teacher/education websites - I so enjoy looking at classrooms. There's your dork fact about me for today! Anyway, I print off all kinds of activities and whatnot that I think would be fun to do with my students, or with Paige, but very often never do them because I'm looking for the right time to do them. (Just imagine me rolling my eyes). Of course, this leads to us doing a whole lot of nothing sometimes because I haven't gotten my planning all figured out. So this past week I started making myself just grab some of these things and in those immortal words of Nike, Just do it.

I had this recipe for snow dough for, oh, um, a couple of years now, but just tried it yesterday. It was great! I ended up bring it home for Paige to play with. She loved it too. I began to feel guilty about not making it with her, instead of just bringing it home, but I'm working through that. Anyway, I thought I'd share the recipe, and try my first attempt at a perma/hyper/something or other link. Maybe sometime soon I can figure out how to put a photo in here too. Now wouldn't that be something!

Snow Dough

2 cups flour
1 cup salt
1/2 cup white paint
1/2 cup water
2 tbsp. oil
Glitter is optional. (And fun)!

We just threw it all in a ball and mixed it up. It was really sticky at first, so I added a tiny bit more flour.

Ok, now to attempt to link to the site where I found it. There are some cute pictures of creatures the class made with the dough.

Not so long ago, I would have denied being a perfectionist. I would have gestured to how chaotic my house is, and said that no one who lived in so much chaos could be a perfectionist. It is only recently that I realized that being a perfectionist can mean that if I can't do it "right," I won't do it at all. Often, if I don't think I'll be good at something the first time, I won't try it. You can see how this means I often don't get a lot done. I'm very hard on myself, and the bar for perfection is so high, I don't think I can see it, nevermind reach it. My daughter will be three in the beginning of February, and it is because I don't want to pass this trait on to her, that I am really working at becoming an "imperfectionist," if you will.

Here's how crazy I'm am. My best friend, Michelle, lives with my husband, Paige, and myself. As we are working on the potty training thing right now, Michelle made a potty chart for "Princess Paige." Paige is all about the Disney Princesses right now - especially Ariel. So Michelle made a potty chart for her with Ariel on it and little Flounder stickers that she earns when she sits on the potty - on her Disney Princess potty seat, of course - for a minute. The chart is set up with rows and columns. Michelle told her that when there is a sticker in each square, she can get a surprise. Paige loves stickers, so this was fun for her. Things were going well until she started sticking the stickers - anywhere she wanted! For some reason, in my mind, you fill in one square, then the next, and the next, until you get to the end of a row, and then you start a new row. You don't just stick your Flounder stickers on the chart pell mell! I mean, she put a sticker right in the middle, for crying out loud! Then she put a sticker at the top of the chart, covering the picture of Ariel Michelle had put there. Now that's just craziness, people.

The scary part is I caught myself about to tell her to "do it right." Do it right?? Who lectures an almost three year old about the right way to complete a potty chart?? I must be out of my mind. And that, dear internet readers, is why I'm working to tame my evil perfectionist ways.

On a side note - I almost didn't post this, as I wanted to include a picture of the aforementioned potty chart. I tried to get a picture of it a couple of times last night, and I couldn't get it to come out right. So then of course this post wouldn't be right without a professional style picture of a potty chart, right???

I think I am losing my mind.

Right.

My daughter, Paige, is at the age where she confuses "he" and "she" a lot. She often refers to my husband as "she" for example.

Tonight Paige and I were playing downstairs, and we heard my husband come into the house upstairs. Paige jumped into my lap, pretending to be scared, saying, "Oh no, Daddy's home." I said, "You aren't scared of Daddy, are you?" to which she replied, "No, she's cute."

Hello Internet World.

My name is Michelle, although I often go by Michie online. I have recently come to the realization that being a perfectionist with an all or nothing attitude is keeping me from doing a lot in life. It is keeping me stuck where I am because nothing is ever good enough or perfect enough. I am constantly telling myself I'm not a "good enough" whatever - wife, mom, teacher.

So, I've decided to work at curbing my perfectionist ways, and am trying to make 2008 my "Year of Imperfection." :)

I enjoy reading other Mom blogs, as I don't have any friends right now with small children (although one has one on the way!) I'm hoping this will also serve to be a place to keep some memories of things my crazy little Paige Girl says and does.

Please join me for my imperfect journey.