Seeking Imperfection

I used to really enjoy making my "Thursday List" of items that I wanted to keep track of that I'd found on other blogs. Once I started using Google Reader, I stopped making the lists and started just "starring" things in the reader. However, I've been thinking that I kind of miss making my list and sharing all the wonderful ideas I find online. Also, I tend to forget about all the fun things I've starred! So, I think I'm going to start "trying" to share what I've been starring lately. Hope you all find something fun too.

My last five starred posts are:

I am toying with trying out this Courage Jar with Paige.

I'm intrigued with this recipe for Root Beer Cake.

These Valentine's Day flowerpots are adorable, and I think you could do the same idea for different holidays, events, etc.

Scrapbooker Stacey Julian has a section on her blog where she shares what she calls, "sprinkles" which are basically little happy ideas to remind you that it is the little things that make life great. I liked what her family did with their construction paper hearts.

I love the birthday banner on the bedroom door! I also think the balls are a cute favor.

For the past year or so, I've wanted to give a little treat to Roland every day, starting on February 1st, and leading to Valentine's Day. I've seen so many cute little ideas online, and I have all the scrapbooking supplies to make beautiful things, but I just never get my act together to get it all "perfect."

This year, since I'm out of work, I figured I couldn't use "I don't have enough time" as an excuse not to do this. However, the first was fast approaching, and I had bought some candy for him, but hadn't sat down to make the beautiful, perfect cards. So, on the first I ended up handing him a chocolate Dove heart. He asked what it was for, and I told him "Valentine's Day." He said, "but it isn't Valentine's Day yet." So, I told him that I was going to give him a little surprise every day. Not the perfect, romantic, surprise I had wanted, but I told myself it is better than doing nothing, and letting the idea of surprising him with something sit another year. Truth be told, he seemed to enjoy the idea, and didn't once ask me where the beautiful card that should go with it was.

I've only managed to put hearts with cute sayings on a handful of the treats - most of which I put on the arm of the couch where he's sitting when we watch TV in the evening.

This cute idea I found here.


Sorry for the poor photo quality. It is a box of Junior Mints in heart shapes with a construction paper heart that says, "We were mint to be together!" taped on it. Turns out he doesn't even like Junior Mints, so I ate them!

The point being, I've enjoyed picking out little treats for him, and I think he's enjoyed getting them, even if they aren't "perfect" in my mind. I keep telling myself lately that doing something is better than doing nothing. Maybe in the future I'll get the fancy cards done too. Maybe not. But at least I've done something in the meantime.

I'm not sure how it happened.

How - and when - did she go from this:



to this?



Happy 5th Birthday, Paige Girlie!

Oh, and note her "5 Shirt" - one of the things I've wanted to "try" for a long time. I had a hard time with it and needed some help with the sewing, but it's a beginning, and she LOVED it. :)

Thank you for your nice comments on my last post. And thanks to Ashley for the kick in the pants and the reminder that it has been over a week since my last post, and it is time to get on with the therapeutic writing.

So here I am. I still don't have a job. It is a bad time of year to look for a teaching job. I am running out of things to apply for. I turned 37 on the 22nd, and at least I got to have my birthday off. :) Paige is turning 5 next week, and I can't believe it. Life goes on.

I am learning about myself. I am learning that I am not good with long periods of "free" time. I may not love getting up to go to work every day, but I need the routine and the schedule of it all to know what I'm "supposed" to be doing. I've realized that sometimes I even have a hard time with weekends because there is no schedule. So now I'm trying to figure out how to make a routine for myself when I'm home all the time. I'm trying to find all of those "if I only had time" projects, and get working on them, but it is still a process.

Ali Edwards has done a cool little One Little Word project for the past few years. You pick one word to focus on for the year. Last year I chose "good" but forgot about the whole process half way through the year. This year the word that popped right into my head is "try." I find I'm often afraid to try. I read a lot of blogs and books, I see projects I think I can do, but I don't try them. I am having a hard time learning to take one day at a time now, and I keep reminding myself just to "try." You get the idea.

I thought about seeing if I could try one new thing each week. I thought about a new thing each day, but that's surely setting myself up to fail. I don't even know if I can do one thing a week, but I can "try."

One thing I am trying this year is the old Project 365, taking one picture a day. I have been afraid to try this one as I've been afraid I'd beat myself up a lot if I forgot to take a picture. So far I've missed two days, and I'm trying to just let it go. Actually, one day I forgot, and on the day I lost Fidget, I was too sad. I had a gift certificate to Amazon and I ordered Project Life from Becky Higgins. I'm excited to get it. I'm going to try to get myself on some sort of schedule with it so that I still do it when I go back to work.

Here's the picture I took for January 2nd, playing with Paige in her room.



And then of course Paige needed to take one too.



And here's Fidget on January 4th.



Most of January's pictures are still on the camera. I'll have to try and upload them soon.

I've discovered that when I'm stressed or unhappy, that I don't like to post much. I've also discovered that the longer you go without posting, the harder it is to get back into it again.

Therefore I'm sure you can tell that I've been a bit stressed the last few months. I was having a hard time at work with a very critical, sarcastic supervisor, who kept belittling me, and who was doing a number on my very small amount of self confidence. Nothing I ever did was good enough, and I started feeling like I was losing ground on trying to lose the perfectionist tendencies because of it. Then in what is probably a blessing in disguise, I found out in December that I was being laid off. My last day was December 23rd. So, that coupled with the holiday season meant I was a feeling a little (ok, a lot) stressed and depressed and just a little crazy.

Trying to get signed up for unemployment was another stress - there are so many people out of work right now, I couldn't even get through to file my claim. When I finally did, they said, "why didn't you call sooner?" Grr... and then told me it would be 4-6 weeks to file the claim! So, now I'm looking for a job and I've been on a few interviews, but I'm running out of things to apply for.

To top it all off, I took my 14 year old cat to the vet last week because she was not acting right...turns out she'd had renal failure, and the most humane thing to do was to put her to sleep. I've had her longer than my husband and daughter, so it's been very hard to lose one of my best friends.

So, that's my sob story. I've been telling myself that it might be therapeutic to do some blogging, so now that I've made the first step back, maybe I can do some more soon.

Thanks for "listening."

Seeing as I was missing in action most of October, here's a quick recap:

October was spent playing in Puppa's yard (my dad) at my nephew's birthday party.



Then there was the trip to the pumpkin patch and the hayride the next morning. That's Paige in the purple coat and my nephew, Justin, in the red coat.



Then we made our yearly trip to King Richard's Faire, where Paige and her cousin, Evan, became knights and ladies of the king's court.



There was also Paige's first "friend's" birthday party for a friend from preschool. Then that afternoon we made Halloween cupcakes and decorated them with all kinds of candy and sprinkles.



Then of course was Halloween, where my little girl was her favorite mermaid, Ariel.


I hope everyone had a great October.

Just wanted to pop in and let everyone know I'm still alive.

My job has been VERY stressful the past month or so, and I'm finding that I'm quite wiped both physically and emotionally by the end of the day, and just haven't had the "oomph" to post lately. Does anyone have any tips on how to beat chronic stress? I could really use it at this point.

Hope everyone had a great Halloween. :)