Seeking Imperfection

Sometimes the longer you stay away, the harder it is to come back. You aren't sure what to say about where you've been, so you just keep quiet. But then the longer you are quiet, the harder it becomes to figure out what to say, and you start thinking you'll have to have some sort of exciting post about what you've been up to all of this time. I have nothing really exciting to say other than I'm still out here.

Around the time of my last post, we had some computer trouble, were on a trip to visit my family, and I got a summer cold. That was the initial reason for being away for a bit. Then I was almost done with summer camp, and concentrated on that. Then, the week after summer camp ended, all of my inlaws went away to Disney for a week, and I had a 3 year old who was wondering where "vacation" was and why they all went without her. We tried to do some fun things with her, but we also enjoyed having the house to ourselves and it was hard to go back when they came home.

Paige and I have been doing the Unplugged Projects every week, but I've been very frustrated when I try to take pictures of our activities. I have a hard time getting a decent photo. I know I'm not the best photographer in the world, but it seems like every one I take you wouldn't be able to see what was going on in the picture. Then I started to wonder if I should bother posting about our activities when you couldn't see anything. I have been reading about how "good blogs" all have pictures, and I know I like it when blogs have pictures, so I guess I convinced myself that if I couldn't post a good picture, I shouldn't bother. Roland thinks that the problem is half that I need more practice taking pictures and half that I need a better camera. So I think I'm going to treat myself to a new camera - any suggestions?

The housing situation isn't much better, and we've all gotten a bit burned out. Due to an increase in salary from getting my Master's degree this spring, I was able to get preapproved for a mortgage again, but we weren't approved for the place we were interested in because it was a town house. We found another house we liked but it had multiple bids and we didn't get it. That one hit me pretty hard - Paige had gone with us to see the place and had picked out her room. We've seen two more that we were interested in, but both had multiple bids, and we just can't win a bidding war. I'm just so done with this.

I have spent a lot of this week setting up my classroom and attending meetings and whatnot. School for teachers starts on Tuesday, and then the kids come back on Wed the 3rd. I feel bad because I'm feeling very burnt out and the year hasn't even started yet.

I guess that's where I've been most of the last month - in burn out. I love reading and commenting on everyone's blogs, but often feel like I've got nothing great going on here to post about. Guess I've been a bit in pity party mode! I have to keep reminding myself that I'm blogging for me. I love comments and having you all visit, but that I should be writing for me, and not to put so much pressure on myself about what I write and what my pictures look like, etc. I am so good at getting stressed out about things that are supposed to be fun! So, in an attempt to deal with burn out, I'm trying to learn to relax and just let go of what I can't control. I'm a bit of a control freak, so this is going to be hard. :)

Nice to "see" you all again!