Seeking Imperfection

Dear Blog:

I didn't really mean to abandon you for over three months. Life just got in the way, and I got a little depressed toward the end of the summer.

We had a big "surprise" in our household - I am pregnant with baby #2! We did not plan to have another child, and that coupled with the fact that I am still out of work kind of put me into a depression. I got very worried that a) I have no job, so money is extra tight, b) that I don't know when or how I'm going to get a teaching job when I'm going to need to go out on maternity leave, and c) I had (and still do have) all kinds of worries about being able to love this baby as much as I love Paige, and being able to find time for both of them.

So here we are now in November. I'm 17 weeks pregnant and have an appointment in three weeks to find out the sex of the baby. Paige (and her parents, to be honest) are hoping for a girl. I asked Paige if she would love the baby even if it was a boy, and she said, "I'll think about it." :)

I am feeling a little better about the baby coming...Roland and I always said that we wouldn't try for another, but if one came, it was "meant to be," so I keep telling myself it's meant to be. I'm still freaking out about money and not having a job and having time and energy for all of this as I'm no spring chicken, but I'm still trying to learn to take this one day at a time.

And to end on a happy note, here's Miss Paige as Rapunzel:



I love this picture, but I couldn't totally crop that guy on tv out of it...I'm going to have to get Roland to edit it.

Happy Belated Halloween!

I am just no good at regular posting! I find I think about posting more than actually posting...now if I could just think a post and have it show up here, that'd be something!

This has been a very crazy week - lots of errands, physicals for Paige and a check-up for me, trips to the RMV, etc. It's amazing how exhausting doing things like that can be!

So here I am with another list of links on the wrong day. Guess learning to post it even if it is on the "wrong" day is progress in embracing imperfection, right?

I like this 30 Sucks birthday gift idea.

I also like this simple Stay Cool gift idea. Might be a good end of the school year idea (if I were to ever remember it.)

I thought this garland made out of napkins was neat.

Having many teenage neices and nephews, I liked this post on Finding Deals on Gifts for Teenagers.

And for anyone interested in special education ideas, I like this post on Adapting the Responsive Classroom Morning Meeting.

I am behind this week...so, better late than never, here are some links that may interest you:

I think S'Mores On A Stick look like fun.

I've seen lots of different versions of ice cream cakes made with ice cream sandwiches lately - like these Frozen Banana Split Squares.

Paige was sick recently, and I can never remember what time I last gave her medicine to her, so this post on organizing sick kids was interesting to me.

I keep meaning to make a foamerator with Paige. Maybe if I stick the link here I'll remember?

In the interest of imperfection (and due to the fact that I had a heat induced migraine yesterday) I am posting my Summer Tuesday Tip on a Wednesday. Better late than never, right?



Have you heard of Kids Bowl Free? This program gives kids coupons for two free games of bowling every day - although you do have to pay for shoe rentals.


Mother-Daughter Fashion Statement

This summer and last summer I signed us up for the family pass, which allows up to 4 adult family members the same two free games a day for one payment of $24. We tried this last year for the first time, and my daughter seemed to enjoy it. I was actually surprised when this summer rolled around and she started asking, "When can we go bowling?" So I guess she liked it more than I thought.



It's not something we do every day, or even every week, but it is kind of a nice option to have in your bag of tricks for a rainy day, or a really hot one.



For more summer fun ideas, be sure to check out Mommy Topics Summer Family Blog Hop.

Some links to check out this week:

How about a strawberry-watermelon slushie?

And while you have your strawberries out, how about checking out Little Cooks With Books Strawberry Jam with the kids?

Painted Light Switch Covers looks like a fun activity too.

I've been wanting to do some more simple science experiments with Paige.

Painting ceramic trivets looks like fun too.

I like these cute little accordian albums.

I think these exercise blocks would be a cute little gift.

I really was planning to post more often...and then the strep/mouth blister/infection disaster of 2010 hit our home, and has been wreaking havoc with my little girlie.

But on a brighter note, I came across this new little blog hop last week:



and was determined that I would join in today. So here I am!

Do you have an A.C. Moore near you? It turns out that A.C. Moore hosts a free craft for kids, ages 4 and up, every Wednesday from 3-5 all summer. I would however double check that your store is participating and that they have the same hours.

The first week I went with Paige they were making crowns, using these sticky mosaic squares. They gave each child a crown, some sticky squares in different colors, and a grid that assigned each color a number. It was kind of like a paint by number, but using these little squares.



Although my daughter loves crowns, I didn't think she'd last too long doing this as her attention span and her patience often leave little to be desired...much like her mom. However, I was amazed when she spent all TWO HOURS working on this project, and did the whole thing herself!

I was SO PROUD of her - and was tempted to go find and buy every sticky mosaic thing I could find...but who knows if she'd ever be interested in this again?



Last week, the kids made "buttons" - which I would call "pins." They had a cardstock circle that they could decorate, and then stick into a plastic pin cover. I do have a few pictures of this, but they are still on my camera, and in the interest of being imperfect, I am not going to wait until I'm not feeling too lazy to download them, or this will never be posted.

Paige wasn't as enthralled with this craft, although this was about when she was getting sick. She told the lady teaching the craft, "my mouth is full of boo boos." I dismissed it then...but turns out she was right. :(

Tomorrow they are making "Silly Bands Holders" whatever that entails, who knows.

So if you have a kid who likes to craft, this might be a fun, free, air conditioned activity for you - all things I enjoy in a good activity. :)

Let's see what's hiding in my starred items...

Some ideas for teaching kids to tell time. Something I've been wanting to work on with Paige.

Some tips on useful html code.

Some very fun looking ceral kabobs.

A sample cleaning routine - something I'm trying to figure out for myself.

Rainbow Pudding Pops. I've actually bought the pudding for this - now to just get some milk and do it!!

Some summer reading programs for special needs students.

A recipe for frozen fruit roll-ups.

And finally, this really adorable Tinkerbell Birthday Party.

So many times I have a great idea for something, but never follow through. I've even gone so far as to say that I am an "idea person" or am "great at brainstorming." I love all kinds of wonderful ideas I find online, and I often think, "I could do that," and yet I never do. My perfectionism tends to keep me from going forward. "If I can't do it perfectly, then why bother?" Lately I've been having to tell myself over and over that doing something is better than doing nothing. For example, isn't it better to have an imperfect present for your husband for Father's Day, then none at all?

A couple of weeks before Father's Day, I saw this great idea for a present at Alpha Mom - a super hero kit. There were fun labels to download and adhere to favorite snacks that turn them into "hero snacks."

I thought how much my super hero comic loving husband would enjoy this gift. Then I thought about how the wonderful free label downloads are in color, and I don't have any color ink. I thought about how they used a fancy wooden photograph box to package everything, and how it was highly unlikely that I would get around to finding something similar (or want to pay for it). I thought about how all the snacks are in beautiful little glassine envelopes, and how I probably wouldn't manage to find those either.

But I knew that my husband would really love this idea, and I "forced" myself to print out the labels in black and white and just go to the store, by some of his favorite snacks, and stick the labels on the fronts with scotch tape. I then hunted around for a box that all the stuff would fit in, and ended up with a big cardboard box that had held chemicals for the pool in it, and shoved them all in there. I also added a new beach towel (super hero cape) and almost let myself freak out about not having a cute tag for it that would match everything else. Instead I put Paige to work making a tag for it that we stuck to it. I also was able to snag a superhero shirt to add in.


(speaking of imperfection, why the heck is this picture sideways?!? Oh well, better something than nothing...)

I got Paige to help me stick everything in the box and tape the box closed, and then had her add a couple of star stickers to it. She fully enjoyed the process and was so excited to give the gift to him, and isn't that really what it's all about?

The last few weeks were kind of rough, and so, of course, the blog got neglected.

I really should learn that it is therapeutic to write.

April ended with Roland working extra hours, Michelle having issues with kidney stones that ended with her needing 4 trips to the ER, two day surgeries, a trip in an ambulance, and a perscription for an EpiPen. Trying to distract Paige from all of that craziness, I took her to an indoor playground, and sprained my ankle while playing with her! Add in some family drama that had my mom calling and venting every day or two, and I ended the month feeling stressed.

May seems to have kind of flown by...some days have been better than others. Some days I find myself being really depressed about being out of work and having such a hard time finding a job. Other days I enjoy being at home, and like having extra time with Paige. I was driving her to her last day of preschool a couple of weeks ago, and the thought hit me that this "free time" was actually a gift. Paige had some rough times in preschool, and we were all just really looking forward to the end of it all. I am so happy that I was able to be around for her when she needed me. Also, if I had been at work, I wouldn't have been able to enjoy things like taking her to her last day of preschool. I suddenly felt calm, and felt like, "now I can get a job. Everything I've needed to do for my family is wrapped up, and I can move on now." That afternoon I had an email asking me if I'd like to interview for a job! It was such weird timing.

So Paige had her preschool graduation, and then the first weekend in June she had her dance recital. This year she was in two different classes, and had two tap routines. This year the dance school decided to do two shows on the same day instead of one long show, so of course, Paige ended up with a routine in each show. It made for a really long day for all of us, but she did great. She really has stage presence, and you can tell she just loves what she's doing.

Now that she's out of school, I've made a list of some fun things I'd like to do with her, and she's alternating having some fun time with me, and some with Grandma. I don't want her to get too used to being with me full time as she'll be headed to Kindergarten in the fall, and hopefully I'll be headed to school somewhere too, and when she spends too much time alone with me, she becomes very clingy and her seperation anxiety increases. So, it'll be fun for her to have some time with me, and some with Grandma. Hopefully I can get myself motivated to use my "free" summer time to do some fun things for myself too, and keep those depressed feelings away...and maybe get some blogging in there too. :)

As I'm sure many people know, this parenting gig is hard.

I think sometimes it is hard for me because since I don't have any friends with kids Paige's age, I parent in kind of a "vacuum," never having anyone else to compare to. I also tend to constantly doubt myself.

Paige has been having a bit of a hard time at school - I think she's getting bored with it. To tell you the truth, I'm about ready for preschool to be over too. I really think she's going to be a kid that around this time of the year we just try to get her through to the end. Luckily for us this year, her preschool ends right before Memorial Day weekend, so we only have a little over a month to go.

Paige has a bit of a temper, and seems to be dealing with some anxiety issues. This is also her first experience with school, and as my mother-in-law is my daycare provider, this is her first experience spending time with adults that aren't family, and with a bunch of kids where she's expected to share and wait her turn, etc, many things that she doesn't have to do at home as an only child.

One of the nice things about being unemployed right now is that I can spend a little more time with her. I've been able to take her to school and pick her up, talk a little with the other mothers, and see how she interacts with the other kids. I think this has been good for both of us.

On another note, since I now have time in the morning, I've been trying to learn to do some hairstyles for Paige. Usually Grandma does her hair, and she does all these cute styles. I am basically "hair challenged" and Paige was disappointed that I didn't even know how to do a french braid. So I started looking at blogs about girls hair, and I'm addicted! Tonight after her bath I "practiced" doing a few different braids on her. LOL

One of my first hairdos was inspired by Adopt A 'Do - Cute Girl's Hairstyles. Sadly though, it was considered a "Daddy Do" (so easy a Dad could do it) and said it took about 5 minutes. Well, it took me about a half hour to do, but Paige and I were both happy with the results, and she's asked me to do it again since.

Now premiering the "Messy Buns."



The hard part is I struggle with these hair do's not being perfect...I want to keep taking them out and trying again until they are, but that makes us both crazy. So, I'm learning new styles and learning to let go of perfection a little too. :)

Life has been challenging around here the last week or so.

About two weeks ago, I got a call from Paige's preschool about "behavior issues." Roland and I have joked her whole life that she's going to be a challenge and that we would "get calls" from school, but it caught me off guard.

After a long conversation with her teachers, we decided on making some changes in Paige's schedule. Since I have been out of work, I tried to keep her schedule as normal as possible, having my mother-in-law continue to take her to school and pick her up, even though I was at home. I am pretty sure though that although I never told Paige about losing my job, she picked up on my worries and anxieties, and it is coming out in her behavior.

Recently, Paige's sleeping issues have resurfaced as well, and I think not sleeping well is also tied into this, as well as several other issues, such as our family cat dying in January. In any event, Roland and I decided to try having me alternate days with Grandma for who took Paige to school. Paige has a close relationship with her Grandmother, and lately when she's with me she tends to cry and say, "I miss Grandma" and when she's with Grandma she says, "I miss mom." Therefore we decided that if we stopped her spending days with Grandma altogether it'd be too hard for her.

So last weekend I told her about my job, and tried to explain it to her the best she could. I also told her that two days a week I'd be taking her to school and she'd spend the day with me. Paige is a child that has a difficult time with changes in her routine, and she kept crying and asking why everything had to change. She then proceeded to test her limits with both myself and Grandma last week.

By Friday I was exhausted! So, once again, this blog took the back burner while I used all my energy battling bad behaviors, trying to figure out what is going on with her. She's not acting like herself, and I'm worried about her.

I'm trying hard to make sure she knows that everything is ok, that she is loved, and that it will all work out. In the meantime, it is going to be a difficult process getting her behavior back on track.

(Hopefully) better late than never...some of my most recent "starred" items.

I like this picture frame gift wrap idea.

I might actually have to try making a birthday wreath.

Tie Dying handkerchiefs looks like fun - as do the other rainbow birthday party ideas.

This "scrappy canvas frame" is neat.

Here's a yummy looking cookie recipe.

Here's my second entry for Project Life Tuesday at The Mom Creative. I will say that making myself post these did mean that I had to get them off the camera, get them organized, and jot down something that can be used as journaling later on, if I need it. Now I also have the pictures ready to print next time I find a good deal on photos.

Sunday, March 7, 2010

This picture is just so Paige right now. She loves to play outside. She wants to wear her sparkly shoes with everything. She wants to pick out her own clothes and insists that they match, when they don't. She often makes that little face she's making in this photo. She's enjoying Tinkerbell fruit snacks.




Monday, March 8, 2010

This is looking down at our front door. I finally realized that keeping this area looking neat made affects how I feel, because if I come in the front door and everything looks messy, it puts me in a bad mood right away. I decided that instead of the Flylady's kitchen sink, I need to "shine" my entryway every day.



Tuesday, March 9, 2010

This picture is a little dark, but these are the books Paige has out of the library that I've been reading to her - The Berenstain Bears. She's been enjoying the books and the cartoon recently, and it amuses me, since I remember reading Berenstain Bears when I was a kid.



Wednesday, March 10, 2010

Oddly enough, I'm having trouble deciding between the picture from my walk in the park,



and one of my toes. Paige painted them tonight. She wanted to paint them in a "pattern." She says it so it sounds more like, "pattren."



Thursday, March 11, 2010

I really don't like pictures of myself, but it feels weird that I don't think my Project Life has any photos of me in it, and we are in March. So I took this one as I was getting ready for a job interview.



Friday, March 12, 2010

One of our foster kittens, Neko, has a hurt leg, and has had to spend some time in a crate in our bathroom to rest his leg. The other day Paige decided he needed something in there to keep him company, and moved some of her birthday/Valentine's Day balloons in there with him.



Saturday, March 13, 2010

Today Michelle and I went shopping at Target, and she bought a Leapfrog birthday cake toy for her twin niece and nephew, who will be one in June. Paige saw it in the bag and told us, "I like frog toys" and wanted to play with it. She played with it in the box for some time, and was upset it wasn't for her, even though I told her it was a "baby toy." Here she's blowing out the candles. I like this picture even though it's a little blurry.



Well, that's my week! Thanks for stopping by.

I'm a little late today with this. I had a job interview today (number 7) and they want me to come back tomorrow for a second round, so this week how about education related links? Some homeschool, some special ed, etc. Let's see what I've got starred...

I actually should print this out - I want to make this Leprechaun Book with Paige.

An interesting sound related Montessori inspired activity.

For anyone like me who is involved with severe special education, here's a post I found interesting about eye gaze communication.

Not quite education, but still sort of school related, lunch box love notes.

A homeschool preschool "curriculum" of sorts, Read to Me and ABC. I really liked how one of the things this mom did while teaching each letter was a part called, "Making A Memory."

A list of websites that teach reading.

This year I am having fun with Becky Higgin's Project Life. It is a scrapbook/photo album kit that is made for you to take a picture every day for a year. There are many different ways to use the kit, and I've had fun looking at what others are doing with it.

The Mom Creative hosts "Project Life Tuesdays" where you share how you are doing with your Project Life. I've been wanting to join in, but I keep forgetting. As it is, I'm posting this late on Tuesday...but better late than never!

Sunday, February 28, 2010

Paige's first "friend's" birthday party. We had the party at a plaster painting place. Paige painted a butterfly. I have a ton of great pictures from the party. This is her cake, which is a cupcake cake. Each guest got a cupcake, a Hoodsie, and a juice box.



Monday, March 1, 2010

Paige's preschool class was studying dinosaurs in February. Today Paige brought home a dinosaur "diorama." I didn't even know that kids still did dioramas!



Tuesday, March 2, 2010

Paige has been having trouble sleeping again. She doesn't want to go to bed and often wakes up several times a night. Lately she's been very hot when she wakes up, as she likes to burrow under a lot of blankets but also overheats easily. She didn't want to change into something cooler...but we convinced her to when she got to wear one of Aunt Michelle's shelter shirts, just like her.



Wednesday, March 3, 2010

An after dinner snack for me...one of Paige's cupcakes and a Hoodsie.



Thursday, March 4, 2010

Paige worked on thank you cards for her birthday party. She wrote the names of her friends on the envelopes and used a couple of her stamps to decorate the envelopes. She's in her new green nightgown again.



Friday, March 5, 2010

Roland's Christmas Darth Vader is still lurking on top of the refrigerator, next to a "porcupine" that Paige made in preschool in the fall, and some junk that has accumulated up there. Time to clean the top of the fridge.



Saturday, March 6, 2010

One of Paige's cousin gave her a kid sized pizza making kit for her birthday. Today Paige and Daddy made pizzas.



So that about wraps up last week here. Thanks for visiting.

Once again...a few fun links from my "starred" items...

My brother and his girlfriend are expecting their second child in June. Maybe I'll try making a diaper wreath.

I keep meaning to try this action game with Paige, since she is always moving!

A yummy looking recipe for skillet lasagna.

I was actually just thinking about this one last night. Need to print this out and try it with Paige - counting the house.

Another recipe I've been meaning to try - apple brownies.

So many of my starred posts are for holidays. I scrolled through and found Valentine's...then Christmas...then Halloween. LOL

So, the last one is the first thing I bookmarked, this cool castle cake that I toyed with trying for Paige's birthday.

A little over a year ago, I started listening to audio books in my car on the way to and from work. Before that, I'd never really listened to an audio book, preferring to read books "the old fashioned way." I quickly became addicted to listening to the books in the car, and now I get a little cranky if I don't have a story to listen to!

I found that I really enjoyed listening to stories for children and young adults. The stories were entertaining, but not too distracting. One of the women I worked with started listening to books with her children when they were in the car, and found that they enjoyed listening to stories as a family. It is a great way to squeeze in a little educational time...and have it be enjoyable too!

Even though I'm not working with her right now, she's asked that I continue to send her the names of good books. So I started thinking, why not share them here too? Maybe someone else would be interested in listening to a good story. Last year, I started writing down all the names and authors of the books I listened to throughout the year. I was going to keep track of how many stories I listened to. Toward the end of the year I started to forget to write them down...but I've started again this year.

I just finished listening to: "Project Mulberry" by Linda Sue Park.



In Project Mulberry, the main character, Julia, and her friend, Patrick, raise silk worms as a project for a school club. At first, Julia, who is Korean, doesn't want to do the project, as she thinks it is too "foreign," and wants to do something more American.

In between the chapters on the audiobook, the author has "conversations" with the main character, Julia, in which they discuss how the story was written. At the end of the story, there is an interview with the author.

I really enjoyed this story and would recommend it. :)

I used to really enjoy making my "Thursday List" of items that I wanted to keep track of that I'd found on other blogs. Once I started using Google Reader, I stopped making the lists and started just "starring" things in the reader. However, I've been thinking that I kind of miss making my list and sharing all the wonderful ideas I find online. Also, I tend to forget about all the fun things I've starred! So, I think I'm going to start "trying" to share what I've been starring lately. Hope you all find something fun too.

My last five starred posts are:

I am toying with trying out this Courage Jar with Paige.

I'm intrigued with this recipe for Root Beer Cake.

These Valentine's Day flowerpots are adorable, and I think you could do the same idea for different holidays, events, etc.

Scrapbooker Stacey Julian has a section on her blog where she shares what she calls, "sprinkles" which are basically little happy ideas to remind you that it is the little things that make life great. I liked what her family did with their construction paper hearts.

I love the birthday banner on the bedroom door! I also think the balls are a cute favor.

For the past year or so, I've wanted to give a little treat to Roland every day, starting on February 1st, and leading to Valentine's Day. I've seen so many cute little ideas online, and I have all the scrapbooking supplies to make beautiful things, but I just never get my act together to get it all "perfect."

This year, since I'm out of work, I figured I couldn't use "I don't have enough time" as an excuse not to do this. However, the first was fast approaching, and I had bought some candy for him, but hadn't sat down to make the beautiful, perfect cards. So, on the first I ended up handing him a chocolate Dove heart. He asked what it was for, and I told him "Valentine's Day." He said, "but it isn't Valentine's Day yet." So, I told him that I was going to give him a little surprise every day. Not the perfect, romantic, surprise I had wanted, but I told myself it is better than doing nothing, and letting the idea of surprising him with something sit another year. Truth be told, he seemed to enjoy the idea, and didn't once ask me where the beautiful card that should go with it was.

I've only managed to put hearts with cute sayings on a handful of the treats - most of which I put on the arm of the couch where he's sitting when we watch TV in the evening.

This cute idea I found here.


Sorry for the poor photo quality. It is a box of Junior Mints in heart shapes with a construction paper heart that says, "We were mint to be together!" taped on it. Turns out he doesn't even like Junior Mints, so I ate them!

The point being, I've enjoyed picking out little treats for him, and I think he's enjoyed getting them, even if they aren't "perfect" in my mind. I keep telling myself lately that doing something is better than doing nothing. Maybe in the future I'll get the fancy cards done too. Maybe not. But at least I've done something in the meantime.

I'm not sure how it happened.

How - and when - did she go from this:



to this?



Happy 5th Birthday, Paige Girlie!

Oh, and note her "5 Shirt" - one of the things I've wanted to "try" for a long time. I had a hard time with it and needed some help with the sewing, but it's a beginning, and she LOVED it. :)

Thank you for your nice comments on my last post. And thanks to Ashley for the kick in the pants and the reminder that it has been over a week since my last post, and it is time to get on with the therapeutic writing.

So here I am. I still don't have a job. It is a bad time of year to look for a teaching job. I am running out of things to apply for. I turned 37 on the 22nd, and at least I got to have my birthday off. :) Paige is turning 5 next week, and I can't believe it. Life goes on.

I am learning about myself. I am learning that I am not good with long periods of "free" time. I may not love getting up to go to work every day, but I need the routine and the schedule of it all to know what I'm "supposed" to be doing. I've realized that sometimes I even have a hard time with weekends because there is no schedule. So now I'm trying to figure out how to make a routine for myself when I'm home all the time. I'm trying to find all of those "if I only had time" projects, and get working on them, but it is still a process.

Ali Edwards has done a cool little One Little Word project for the past few years. You pick one word to focus on for the year. Last year I chose "good" but forgot about the whole process half way through the year. This year the word that popped right into my head is "try." I find I'm often afraid to try. I read a lot of blogs and books, I see projects I think I can do, but I don't try them. I am having a hard time learning to take one day at a time now, and I keep reminding myself just to "try." You get the idea.

I thought about seeing if I could try one new thing each week. I thought about a new thing each day, but that's surely setting myself up to fail. I don't even know if I can do one thing a week, but I can "try."

One thing I am trying this year is the old Project 365, taking one picture a day. I have been afraid to try this one as I've been afraid I'd beat myself up a lot if I forgot to take a picture. So far I've missed two days, and I'm trying to just let it go. Actually, one day I forgot, and on the day I lost Fidget, I was too sad. I had a gift certificate to Amazon and I ordered Project Life from Becky Higgins. I'm excited to get it. I'm going to try to get myself on some sort of schedule with it so that I still do it when I go back to work.

Here's the picture I took for January 2nd, playing with Paige in her room.



And then of course Paige needed to take one too.



And here's Fidget on January 4th.



Most of January's pictures are still on the camera. I'll have to try and upload them soon.

I've discovered that when I'm stressed or unhappy, that I don't like to post much. I've also discovered that the longer you go without posting, the harder it is to get back into it again.

Therefore I'm sure you can tell that I've been a bit stressed the last few months. I was having a hard time at work with a very critical, sarcastic supervisor, who kept belittling me, and who was doing a number on my very small amount of self confidence. Nothing I ever did was good enough, and I started feeling like I was losing ground on trying to lose the perfectionist tendencies because of it. Then in what is probably a blessing in disguise, I found out in December that I was being laid off. My last day was December 23rd. So, that coupled with the holiday season meant I was a feeling a little (ok, a lot) stressed and depressed and just a little crazy.

Trying to get signed up for unemployment was another stress - there are so many people out of work right now, I couldn't even get through to file my claim. When I finally did, they said, "why didn't you call sooner?" Grr... and then told me it would be 4-6 weeks to file the claim! So, now I'm looking for a job and I've been on a few interviews, but I'm running out of things to apply for.

To top it all off, I took my 14 year old cat to the vet last week because she was not acting right...turns out she'd had renal failure, and the most humane thing to do was to put her to sleep. I've had her longer than my husband and daughter, so it's been very hard to lose one of my best friends.

So, that's my sob story. I've been telling myself that it might be therapeutic to do some blogging, so now that I've made the first step back, maybe I can do some more soon.

Thanks for "listening."