Seeking Imperfection

Well, after the 24th, we were on for a short period of time on the 31st. Then we were delayed again, but it looks like we might actually be on for this upcoming week. I am trying to be "cautiously optimistic" at this point. I would really like to be able to move before we are moving in snow!

Work has been VERY stressful, and home has been VERY stressful. I am exhausted from the emotional roller coaster I've been riding for the last few weeks.

In other news, I'm trying to learn how to make better use of my time by scheduling activities that I want to do and/or need to do. I've always been a bit resistant to calendars and scheduling systems, thinking they'd make me dull and would suck any spontaneity out of my life. However, I'm also learning more and more that the things I'd like to do "someday" will never actually get done if I don't determine when "someday" is. This week, I scheduled in time to make a recipe I've been wanting to try - baked French Toast. Paige, Michelle and I made it tonight and it sits in the refrigerator until tomorrow morning, then we'll see how it is. I like a breakfast recipe that I can make on Saturday night when I am coherent, and not have to try to figure out in the morning, when I'm not. If this works out, I might have to look for other recipes like it. Suggestions are always welcome. :)

Next thing to schedule is some time to play around with moving photos from my new camera onto the computer and sizing them, so that I can go back to posting pictures from all of my Unplugged Projects, Halloween, etc. I did much better with pictures when I could just stick the photo card in the computer and access all of my pictures. For some reason it seems much more time consuming to get the cord to hook the camera to the computer, and then to have to resize the pictures to post them here. I think maybe I just need to dedicate some time to it.

Trying to catch up with some unfinished business - awhile ago Forever Daisies gave me a wonderful award, and I'd like to pass it along - finally!

Here are a few blogs that I love.

Chasing Cheerios

Little Princess Chronicles

Ramblings of a Crazy Woman

My Blog

Toddlebits

Go check 'em out!

I think I've said before that I'm a very visual person. I also have ADD. That said, this blogging thing can be a little addicting and overwhelming to me. I find I click on this link and then that one, and then someone's blog links me to someone else's, and I see all these wonderful ideas, and I just can't get enough crafty clever ideas. But of course, clicking here there and everywhere, I can never remember where I saw what I liked. And half the time, I'll never try anything...I'll just "mean to do it."

I pull articles out of magazines all the time, of things I like, things I think I'll try. I do the same with recipes. I have a TON of recipes, but Roland does the cooking. I do like to bake, but half the time I just show him recipes - "doesn't that sound good?" "I bet I could make that." Then I file it away somewhere, but I don't do anything with it. In that way, I am such a collector. I collect ideas for activities I could do with Paige, or with my kids at school, but we rarely do these things. I spend most of my time online or in books looking for more. Looking for bigger, better. I tend to obsess over looking for the "right" thing to do. And when I do want to bake something? I will obsess over looking for the "right" thing to make, and will go looking for something new, even though I have all of these recipes saved.

I often find myself asking for permission. I ask Roland, "if I make a recipe, and it doesn't turn out very good, is that ok?" But then I still don't try it. I'm not sure if I'm afraid of not being perfect, or what exactly stops me. I am sometimes afraid of wasting time or money, but I don't think that's it exactly. I have said many times that I should put all my things I collect together in a binder or something, but then I ask Roland or Michelle, "does that make me a dork?" I'm so worried about things like that...and I really wish I wasn't.

So when I started with my 2008 goal of imperfection, I started putting some of my magazine pullings into a binder. Of course I didn't get too far with that - I've got to get myself back on track there, so there aren't just magazine clippings all over the house. :) I am determined to not care if this makes me a dork. I am determined to not care if just looking at recipes and not making them makes me a dork - as long as I can be happy with the fact that I just like to look at them, and not be afraid to make them.

Anyway, I started out with this long, rambling post, wondering how all of you organize the millions of ideas that you must see on all of these wonderful blogs. How do you decide what you'd like to try? How do you organize things for later? I know bookmarking doesn't work for me - then I end up with a million little bookmarks and I can never remember what they are for or why I bookmarked the page. (More joys of ADD.) I am also looking for any ideas of how to push yourself to try something, and how to pick something. I am an all or nothing gal - if I can't decide what to do, I won't do anything, and that doesn't make me happy either.

Any ideas would be appreciated, and if you read all of this, thanks. I am trying to push myself to blog for myself, about what I need to blog about, and not worry so much about making "perfect" posts and getting tons of comments, because that isn't the point of trying to be imperfect, now is it? :)

I was just loading Paige into her car seat, telling her to be nice to Daddy because he was feeling sick. She told me that Daddy, Momma, Aunt Michelle, and Paige were all sick. And she's right. We have some sort of nasty stomach thing going on here at our house, and it has made every one of us miserable. I'm very happy to be on school vacation this week, and that Grandma has recovered enough from her bout of whatever it is to take Paige today so I can read blogs rest.

The hard part with Paige not feeling well is that she is normally a VERY high energy child, and it is hard keeping her still to get some rest. On Saturday I finally got around to doing something I've been "meaning to do" forever - I got out a box of instant rice and let her play with it. Paige loves to dig and shovel, and the rice was a huge hit - and also kept her from digging in the bucket of ice melt, which was her original idea. Of course, I do have rice all over the place, but for the child who can't seem to sit still for more than 5 minutes at a time, the rice kept her busy most of the day. She even took a nap, woke up, and her first words were, "Momma, can I play with the rice?"

I know there are other fun foods to play with, beans being one of them. I mentioned to my friend Michelle that maybe I'd get some beans for her, but I'd need a place to put them. She said, "you can put them in with the rice." I said, "Well, I could, but then the beans would be mixed in with the rice." She told me yes...it is about feeling different textures. I agreed with her, but said, "yes, different textures...rice with rice, and beans with beans." She asked me if this was the same problem as with the Floam. She told me that it was another perfectionist thing, not to mix my rice and beans. Can't a person just enjoy rice and beans separately without being a perfectionist?

Sigh.

Here I thought I was doing so good - finally doing one of my "meaning to do" things, and I get labeled as a perfectionist again. Oh well, at least Paige was happy. :)