Seeking Imperfection

Dear Blog:

I didn't really mean to abandon you for over three months. Life just got in the way, and I got a little depressed toward the end of the summer.

We had a big "surprise" in our household - I am pregnant with baby #2! We did not plan to have another child, and that coupled with the fact that I am still out of work kind of put me into a depression. I got very worried that a) I have no job, so money is extra tight, b) that I don't know when or how I'm going to get a teaching job when I'm going to need to go out on maternity leave, and c) I had (and still do have) all kinds of worries about being able to love this baby as much as I love Paige, and being able to find time for both of them.

So here we are now in November. I'm 17 weeks pregnant and have an appointment in three weeks to find out the sex of the baby. Paige (and her parents, to be honest) are hoping for a girl. I asked Paige if she would love the baby even if it was a boy, and she said, "I'll think about it." :)

I am feeling a little better about the baby coming...Roland and I always said that we wouldn't try for another, but if one came, it was "meant to be," so I keep telling myself it's meant to be. I'm still freaking out about money and not having a job and having time and energy for all of this as I'm no spring chicken, but I'm still trying to learn to take this one day at a time.

And to end on a happy note, here's Miss Paige as Rapunzel:



I love this picture, but I couldn't totally crop that guy on tv out of it...I'm going to have to get Roland to edit it.

Happy Belated Halloween!

In the interest of imperfection (and due to the fact that I had a heat induced migraine yesterday) I am posting my Summer Tuesday Tip on a Wednesday. Better late than never, right?



Have you heard of Kids Bowl Free? This program gives kids coupons for two free games of bowling every day - although you do have to pay for shoe rentals.


Mother-Daughter Fashion Statement

This summer and last summer I signed us up for the family pass, which allows up to 4 adult family members the same two free games a day for one payment of $24. We tried this last year for the first time, and my daughter seemed to enjoy it. I was actually surprised when this summer rolled around and she started asking, "When can we go bowling?" So I guess she liked it more than I thought.



It's not something we do every day, or even every week, but it is kind of a nice option to have in your bag of tricks for a rainy day, or a really hot one.



For more summer fun ideas, be sure to check out Mommy Topics Summer Family Blog Hop.

I really was planning to post more often...and then the strep/mouth blister/infection disaster of 2010 hit our home, and has been wreaking havoc with my little girlie.

But on a brighter note, I came across this new little blog hop last week:



and was determined that I would join in today. So here I am!

Do you have an A.C. Moore near you? It turns out that A.C. Moore hosts a free craft for kids, ages 4 and up, every Wednesday from 3-5 all summer. I would however double check that your store is participating and that they have the same hours.

The first week I went with Paige they were making crowns, using these sticky mosaic squares. They gave each child a crown, some sticky squares in different colors, and a grid that assigned each color a number. It was kind of like a paint by number, but using these little squares.



Although my daughter loves crowns, I didn't think she'd last too long doing this as her attention span and her patience often leave little to be desired...much like her mom. However, I was amazed when she spent all TWO HOURS working on this project, and did the whole thing herself!

I was SO PROUD of her - and was tempted to go find and buy every sticky mosaic thing I could find...but who knows if she'd ever be interested in this again?



Last week, the kids made "buttons" - which I would call "pins." They had a cardstock circle that they could decorate, and then stick into a plastic pin cover. I do have a few pictures of this, but they are still on my camera, and in the interest of being imperfect, I am not going to wait until I'm not feeling too lazy to download them, or this will never be posted.

Paige wasn't as enthralled with this craft, although this was about when she was getting sick. She told the lady teaching the craft, "my mouth is full of boo boos." I dismissed it then...but turns out she was right. :(

Tomorrow they are making "Silly Bands Holders" whatever that entails, who knows.

So if you have a kid who likes to craft, this might be a fun, free, air conditioned activity for you - all things I enjoy in a good activity. :)

The last few weeks were kind of rough, and so, of course, the blog got neglected.

I really should learn that it is therapeutic to write.

April ended with Roland working extra hours, Michelle having issues with kidney stones that ended with her needing 4 trips to the ER, two day surgeries, a trip in an ambulance, and a perscription for an EpiPen. Trying to distract Paige from all of that craziness, I took her to an indoor playground, and sprained my ankle while playing with her! Add in some family drama that had my mom calling and venting every day or two, and I ended the month feeling stressed.

May seems to have kind of flown by...some days have been better than others. Some days I find myself being really depressed about being out of work and having such a hard time finding a job. Other days I enjoy being at home, and like having extra time with Paige. I was driving her to her last day of preschool a couple of weeks ago, and the thought hit me that this "free time" was actually a gift. Paige had some rough times in preschool, and we were all just really looking forward to the end of it all. I am so happy that I was able to be around for her when she needed me. Also, if I had been at work, I wouldn't have been able to enjoy things like taking her to her last day of preschool. I suddenly felt calm, and felt like, "now I can get a job. Everything I've needed to do for my family is wrapped up, and I can move on now." That afternoon I had an email asking me if I'd like to interview for a job! It was such weird timing.

So Paige had her preschool graduation, and then the first weekend in June she had her dance recital. This year she was in two different classes, and had two tap routines. This year the dance school decided to do two shows on the same day instead of one long show, so of course, Paige ended up with a routine in each show. It made for a really long day for all of us, but she did great. She really has stage presence, and you can tell she just loves what she's doing.

Now that she's out of school, I've made a list of some fun things I'd like to do with her, and she's alternating having some fun time with me, and some with Grandma. I don't want her to get too used to being with me full time as she'll be headed to Kindergarten in the fall, and hopefully I'll be headed to school somewhere too, and when she spends too much time alone with me, she becomes very clingy and her seperation anxiety increases. So, it'll be fun for her to have some time with me, and some with Grandma. Hopefully I can get myself motivated to use my "free" summer time to do some fun things for myself too, and keep those depressed feelings away...and maybe get some blogging in there too. :)

As I'm sure many people know, this parenting gig is hard.

I think sometimes it is hard for me because since I don't have any friends with kids Paige's age, I parent in kind of a "vacuum," never having anyone else to compare to. I also tend to constantly doubt myself.

Paige has been having a bit of a hard time at school - I think she's getting bored with it. To tell you the truth, I'm about ready for preschool to be over too. I really think she's going to be a kid that around this time of the year we just try to get her through to the end. Luckily for us this year, her preschool ends right before Memorial Day weekend, so we only have a little over a month to go.

Paige has a bit of a temper, and seems to be dealing with some anxiety issues. This is also her first experience with school, and as my mother-in-law is my daycare provider, this is her first experience spending time with adults that aren't family, and with a bunch of kids where she's expected to share and wait her turn, etc, many things that she doesn't have to do at home as an only child.

One of the nice things about being unemployed right now is that I can spend a little more time with her. I've been able to take her to school and pick her up, talk a little with the other mothers, and see how she interacts with the other kids. I think this has been good for both of us.

On another note, since I now have time in the morning, I've been trying to learn to do some hairstyles for Paige. Usually Grandma does her hair, and she does all these cute styles. I am basically "hair challenged" and Paige was disappointed that I didn't even know how to do a french braid. So I started looking at blogs about girls hair, and I'm addicted! Tonight after her bath I "practiced" doing a few different braids on her. LOL

One of my first hairdos was inspired by Adopt A 'Do - Cute Girl's Hairstyles. Sadly though, it was considered a "Daddy Do" (so easy a Dad could do it) and said it took about 5 minutes. Well, it took me about a half hour to do, but Paige and I were both happy with the results, and she's asked me to do it again since.

Now premiering the "Messy Buns."



The hard part is I struggle with these hair do's not being perfect...I want to keep taking them out and trying again until they are, but that makes us both crazy. So, I'm learning new styles and learning to let go of perfection a little too. :)

Life has been challenging around here the last week or so.

About two weeks ago, I got a call from Paige's preschool about "behavior issues." Roland and I have joked her whole life that she's going to be a challenge and that we would "get calls" from school, but it caught me off guard.

After a long conversation with her teachers, we decided on making some changes in Paige's schedule. Since I have been out of work, I tried to keep her schedule as normal as possible, having my mother-in-law continue to take her to school and pick her up, even though I was at home. I am pretty sure though that although I never told Paige about losing my job, she picked up on my worries and anxieties, and it is coming out in her behavior.

Recently, Paige's sleeping issues have resurfaced as well, and I think not sleeping well is also tied into this, as well as several other issues, such as our family cat dying in January. In any event, Roland and I decided to try having me alternate days with Grandma for who took Paige to school. Paige has a close relationship with her Grandmother, and lately when she's with me she tends to cry and say, "I miss Grandma" and when she's with Grandma she says, "I miss mom." Therefore we decided that if we stopped her spending days with Grandma altogether it'd be too hard for her.

So last weekend I told her about my job, and tried to explain it to her the best she could. I also told her that two days a week I'd be taking her to school and she'd spend the day with me. Paige is a child that has a difficult time with changes in her routine, and she kept crying and asking why everything had to change. She then proceeded to test her limits with both myself and Grandma last week.

By Friday I was exhausted! So, once again, this blog took the back burner while I used all my energy battling bad behaviors, trying to figure out what is going on with her. She's not acting like herself, and I'm worried about her.

I'm trying hard to make sure she knows that everything is ok, that she is loved, and that it will all work out. In the meantime, it is going to be a difficult process getting her behavior back on track.

This year I am having fun with Becky Higgin's Project Life. It is a scrapbook/photo album kit that is made for you to take a picture every day for a year. There are many different ways to use the kit, and I've had fun looking at what others are doing with it.

The Mom Creative hosts "Project Life Tuesdays" where you share how you are doing with your Project Life. I've been wanting to join in, but I keep forgetting. As it is, I'm posting this late on Tuesday...but better late than never!

Sunday, February 28, 2010

Paige's first "friend's" birthday party. We had the party at a plaster painting place. Paige painted a butterfly. I have a ton of great pictures from the party. This is her cake, which is a cupcake cake. Each guest got a cupcake, a Hoodsie, and a juice box.



Monday, March 1, 2010

Paige's preschool class was studying dinosaurs in February. Today Paige brought home a dinosaur "diorama." I didn't even know that kids still did dioramas!



Tuesday, March 2, 2010

Paige has been having trouble sleeping again. She doesn't want to go to bed and often wakes up several times a night. Lately she's been very hot when she wakes up, as she likes to burrow under a lot of blankets but also overheats easily. She didn't want to change into something cooler...but we convinced her to when she got to wear one of Aunt Michelle's shelter shirts, just like her.



Wednesday, March 3, 2010

An after dinner snack for me...one of Paige's cupcakes and a Hoodsie.



Thursday, March 4, 2010

Paige worked on thank you cards for her birthday party. She wrote the names of her friends on the envelopes and used a couple of her stamps to decorate the envelopes. She's in her new green nightgown again.



Friday, March 5, 2010

Roland's Christmas Darth Vader is still lurking on top of the refrigerator, next to a "porcupine" that Paige made in preschool in the fall, and some junk that has accumulated up there. Time to clean the top of the fridge.



Saturday, March 6, 2010

One of Paige's cousin gave her a kid sized pizza making kit for her birthday. Today Paige and Daddy made pizzas.



So that about wraps up last week here. Thanks for visiting.

I'm not sure how it happened.

How - and when - did she go from this:



to this?



Happy 5th Birthday, Paige Girlie!

Oh, and note her "5 Shirt" - one of the things I've wanted to "try" for a long time. I had a hard time with it and needed some help with the sewing, but it's a beginning, and she LOVED it. :)

Seeing as I was missing in action most of October, here's a quick recap:

October was spent playing in Puppa's yard (my dad) at my nephew's birthday party.



Then there was the trip to the pumpkin patch and the hayride the next morning. That's Paige in the purple coat and my nephew, Justin, in the red coat.



Then we made our yearly trip to King Richard's Faire, where Paige and her cousin, Evan, became knights and ladies of the king's court.



There was also Paige's first "friend's" birthday party for a friend from preschool. Then that afternoon we made Halloween cupcakes and decorated them with all kinds of candy and sprinkles.



Then of course was Halloween, where my little girl was her favorite mermaid, Ariel.


I hope everyone had a great October.

Saturday, June 27, 2009

When all else fails, and I don't know what to take a picture of, I end up with one of Paige. Good thing she's so cute. She's wearing a pair of her favorite jammies. Even though it is summer, she keeps insisting on wearing comfy "fuzzy" jammies. She's very sensory. Good thing we have AC.



Sunday, June 28, 2009

I signed us up for the free kids bowling program. Today Michelle and I took Paige bowling for the first time. She seemed to have fun, even though she would get a little frustrated with gutter balls because her mom is too cheap to pay for the bumpers which aren't free.





Monday, June 29, 2009

This picture pretty much sums up the month of June.



Tuesday, June 30, 2009

My other stand-by for a photo if Paige is unavailable is one of the cats. This is Michelle's cat, Doyle. And really, what's better than a cat in a basket?



Wednesday, July 1, 2009

Paige took swimming lessons for the first time this summer, at a lake in New Hampshire. You wouldn't know it from this picture or the date, but it was COLD. I was ready to take her home for hot cocoa in front of the fire after this picture.



Thursday, July 2, 2009

I took Paige for some more bowling on my own. That was tricky because she was apt to wander away while I tried to bowl. She actually got a little better this time. To try to keep her from getting too frustrated, I would keep telling her, "just keep trying" a la Dory from "Finding Nemo"..."just keep swimming." Her outfit indicates just how wonderful and July like the temperature was.



Friday, July 3, 2009

Finally, the sun came back. This is a cute tree in our yard. Turns out we have two little fruit trees in our yard. We also don't own a lawn mower.

Paige and I took part in the Super Summer Swap hosted by Super Heroes and Princesses and Life of a Dairy Queen. Paige was matched with a four year old girl in Oregon named Mason.

Paige was so excited to get her package which consisted of a Pez dispenser, four princess card games, a kindergarten workbook, a sticker book, and a small Ariel doll. Paige has had me read the letter to her from Mason several times. I'm going to have to get a map to try and get her to understand the distance between Oregon and Massachusetts though. She really wants to go visit Mason and can't seem to understand why we aren't just heading over there!

This was a lot of fun, even though I sent our package out late. I hope Mason forgives us! You know, I've only participated in two blog swaps, and they've both been for Paige!!! I'll have to find one for me sometime - it looks like fun!


For some reason, Blogger is insisting on putting this photo in upside down...but you get the idea.



Paige has learned how to play Go Fish and Old Maid thanks to Mason!

Saturday, May 30, 2009

A few weeks ago, my mother came and saw our new house. She walked around the yard and pointed out plants she knew as she went. She happened to notice that we have a bunch of strawberry plants around the side of the pool. Paige has been very interested in these, and we have been checking them, looking at the green strawberries, waiting to see if any turned red. Saturday we found one red strawberry and she picked it.



Sunday, May 31, 2009

On Sunday, Michelle went to volunteer at an event at the shelter. When she came home she had a shelter name tag on. She changed out her name for Paige's, and let her put it on. She was so excited. What a great prop for when she asks to play "Animal Shelter."



Also from Sunday:

The day before, Saturday, Michelle had taken Paige to the shelter with her. Paige convinced Michelle to buy her a small blue lamb. It is a dog toy, but Paige finally told Michelle that it was for her stuffed dog that Michelle had bought her at the shelter on a different visit. Michelle decided she couldn't deny that kind of logic and got it for her. Paige has fallen in love with Lambie, who she brought outside to swing with her. I stuck her up on the swing set to watch, and Paige loved it.



Monday, June 1, 2009

There's no real significance to this picture, other than I thought she looked cute eating her "circle bread" as we call it, and it happened to be the only picture I took that day. So there you go.



Tuesday, June 2, 2009

Tuesday gives us two pictures, as I decided to document our current "sleeping plan" before I went to bed in her room. First a quick picture of Paige sleeping. She's wearing new Hello Kitty jammies I'd bought that day. She loves Hello Kitty and they are red, which is her favorite color, so I had to get them. I also like that in this picture you can see, from left to right, Taggie, Brown Bear, Douglas (the panda) and Dolphin. These four go everywhere with her right now, and there's a little song that goes with getting them ready for bed. She sings as she places them in order, "Taggie in the front, Brown Bear in the middle, Douglas in the back, and Dolphin in the back too." Then I'm allowed to join in for the chorus of "la, la, la, la." There are always four las, which she counts out on her fingers. Then I say, "and everybody schooch, to make room for Paige." You can also see her new friend Lambie on the other side.



Second, here's my current sleeping arrangement - the cushions from the couch on the floor of her room. I have sleep apnea and need to wear a CPAP when I sleep, so that's the funny looking contraption on my pillows. You can also get a glimpse of the Ariel curtains that I made for her - my first sewing project on my sewing machine, and, well, pretty much ever.



Wednesday, June 3, 2009

Roland brings us Wednesday's photo. We have a squirrel that will come up on our deck, and walk right up to the screen, even if our cats are sitting there. At one point we had a Rubbermaid bin with birdseed in it, and he lifted the top and was eating out of it. Roland has named him "Ballsy," and now everyone, including my four year old, says, "Hi Ballsy" when he's on the deck. For some reason on this day, he jumped up on the screen of the slider, just to further torment the cats, I guess. I came home and Roland told me to check out the last couple of pictures on the camera, and this is what I found.



Thursday, June 4, 2009

Wednesday night, Michelle and Roland had discovered some Powerpuff Girls cartoons that are offered in the "extras" stuff we can access "On Demand" from our cable company. Paige loved them. One of the episodes was about bad dreams, and the Girls eventually beat up their dreams. Michelle taught her "Powerpuff Paige" kicks and punches so she could beat up her dreams too. That night was the first night she slept through the night, in her own room, by herself, without waking up at all or needing to get one of us. Thursday morning, Michelle asked her to pose with her super punch pose.




Friday, June 5, 2009

For Christmas, Roland gave me twelve envelopes, one for each month. In each envelope was a piece of paper telling me, "Date Night Tonight. Dinner at..." and then there's a picture of the restaurant logo. Well, I've been opening them each month, but we haven't actually gotten a chance to go on our date night until Friday. I opened the envelope and it was for Chili's. When our dinner arrived, I surprised him by pulling out my camera to take a picture of it. He asked me what I was doing and told me I was crazy. Then I convinced him to share the Chocolate Chip Cookie Molten Cake with me. I told him, "you know I'm going to take a picture of that too?" and I did. He thought I was crazy, and I reminded him that crazy is one of the things he loves about me.



So that rounds out week two. I've noticed that most of my pictures from this week are of Paige, and I don't necessarily want this to become an all Paige album - but she's my favorite model. I guess I'll have to see how it goes, as I'm sure all weeks will be different.

Anyone else take any good pictures of the day this week?

I've been intrigued for awhile by the idea of any one of the versions of Project 365 in which you take a picture a day for a year. Knowing my perfectionist tendencies though, I've been afraid to commit to doing this, as I'm afraid I'll beat myself up if I say I'll do this and then forget or start slacking.

Then a couple of weeks ago I had an idea - I'll start slowly by trying to take a picture every day of the summer, as identified as Memorial Day to Labor Day. The problem is now trying not to be a perfectionist about what album I choose, or picking just one photo for the day, or even about the photos themselves. This is going to be a challenge for me.

Even though I'd planned to start on Memorial Day, I have a couple of cute ones from Saturday and Sunday too, so I think I'll start there.


Saturday, May 23, 2009.
Playing on the deck in a bucket of water.



Sunday, May 24, 2009
Being artsy in my backyard.



and here's where I already have trouble choosing one photo to represent the day. So here's picture number two - Paige and her quarters (she's been getting a quarter every day she feeds the cats in the morning) that she used to go buy a beta fish. She got a red fish, named it Ariel, and insists it is a girl (even though it is not.) Poor gender confused fishie.



Monday, May 25, 2009
I've already posted this one, but I love it. New sandals, and she's wearing pajamas too, by the way, to go out and play.



Tuesday, May 24, 2009
Only a couple days in and I didn't have a picture! I knew this would happen. So I had Roland take one of us.



Wednesday, May 27, 2009
Paige has been having trouble with constipation, and thus is scared to poop on the potty. She tried on Wednesday, so we made a big deal out of it and made Pillsbury Cinnabon Cookies. "I tried to poop on the potty cookies" didn't sound so appetizing, so Michelle suggested "Courage Cookies." I like that and think it might be something to do every time we do something courageous around here. We'll see.



Thursday, May 28, 2009
I took Paige to story time at the library. The local library is having a story night every Thursday for a few weeks, and the stories are being read by "local leaders." Tonight's story was read by a fireman. To explain the first picture - last summer, I think it was, Paige fell down in the library parking lot. To stop her crying, I brought her over to these flowers outside the library door, and told her they were "Feel Better Flowers." They've been the Feel Better Flowers to her ever since - she tells me all the time she wants to smell the Feel Better Flowers. Tonight she wanted to smell each one, and helped me to take this picture.



Picture number two:
The fireman read two books about dragons (as they breathe fire) and then a book about firemen. Then the kids did a craft, making a really cute fire breathing dragon.



Friday, May 29, 2009
I had a bad day at work, and didn't have a picture yet, so I asked Roland if we could go get ice cream and took this blurry photo there. I'm thinking I don't want all of the pictures to be of people or events, I want some to be objects or items that represent the day.



So I've actually followed through for one week! Wish me luck for week two.