Seeking Imperfection

Michelle, Roland, and I have been renting the same place for about ten and a half years. It is a "condex" which is similar to a "duplex" as there are two living units, although here they don't connect on the inside - both have separate entrances. Michelle and I had been in a little condo together, which got put on the market and sold quicker than expected. At the last minute we found where we are now, and moved here in November 1997. Roland and I had only been dating a couple of months at the time. A few months later, Roland needed a "temporary" place to stay, for a month or so. Well, ten years, a marriage, and a baby later, here we all are. A lot of people have told us that we shouldn't all be living together. I'm not sure why they care. Living together has helped us to be able to have a decent place in a good neighborhood, instead of struggling for a horrible place in a sleazy neighborhood. I've often wondered why other people care so much about what we are doing.

Of course, this place isn't the greatest. When it was built, a lot of homes were built at the same time. It went up quickly, and I think the emphasis was on how fast we can build it, not how well. Therefore, things break or fall apart all the time even though the place isn't that old. The house is really too small for us - Paige has shared a room with me and Roland her whole life. Sometimes I've felt guilty that she hasn't had her own room, but then I remind myself that she has a warm place to sleep, toys to play with, food to eat, and three people who love her very much to live with. Who needs more than that really? I have joked that I'd hoped that she would be able to have her own room before she was a teenager, but all in all, even though the we've had all kinds of problems with things here, and have been a bit cramped, we were getting by. That is, of course, until this past Thursday.

I came home after a boring after school meeting, and noticed that there was a phone number out for someone Michelle and I used to work with who now does real estate. There was also a library book on the couch about buying your first home. I asked what going on, and Michelle and Roland asked me to sit down. They told me that the landlord had come by earlier that day, and told Michelle that he had SOLD our section of the condex to our neighbors, and that we have to move out by May 15th.

When we first moved in, an older couple lived next door. They were really nice, and we enjoyed living near them. The husband was a great guy, always outside playing with the neighborhood kids and working in his yard. Sadly he had a stroke and then past away. His wife died not too much longer after that, shortly after Paige was born. Their children put the place on the market, and a couple moved in. They just had a baby themselves not too long ago.

Shortly after Christmas, our landlord's wife called and told us that our landlord had had a stroke several weeks before, and that she and the new neighbors wanted to come and take a tour of our unit, as they were going to be "sharing" the insurance on our place. Our house has always been what the Flylady would call in a state of CHAOS, or "Can't Have Anyone Over Syndrome." I had just started reading one of her books and realized my perfectionist problem, and was getting ready to work on my attitude and my house one small step at a time. However, this meant we had to go crazy cleaning and organizing. It needed to be done, but it was stressful, and not in the slow baby step process I'd imagined. They came over, took a look around, and were gone quickly. Over the last couple of months, they've wanted to come in and "look" at things once or twice. Roland asked our landlord's wife once if she was going to sell the place, and she told him no. We'd had our suspicions, but we were hanging in there. Now, as it turns out, they went and sold our place to the neighbors, who have plans for it, so it isn't even like we can stay and rent from them instead. Even though we've talked a lot about moving, this is sudden and a little frightening, and we are all very mad that we were basically lied to about their motives for looking at the new house.

I talked to the person Michelle and I used to work with, and found out today that although my credit is "excellent" the fact that I have student loans and a car payment (we just got Roland a new car in October - his wasn't going to make it through the winter) hurt me, and I am not approved for enough to buy a home. He said that "next year at this time" I might be in a better spot. I guess this means that we are on the hunt to find someplace to rent. We are a little freaked out about what is going to happen to us from this point. I truly believe that things happen for a reason, and that it will work out in the end - we will probably even end up better off, but the going through the process of everything is stressful, exhausting, and there are tons of emotions for us all to work out.

If you wouldn't mind, would you all please put in an offering to the house gods that we find a place in the near future?