Seeking Imperfection

Ok, so this is technically my 100th post, and no, this isn't a big list of things about me. This is in fact my Unplugged Project for this week. I will try to get to that big list over the next couple of days - we just got home from a long weekend with my family on Cape Cod, so I'm using that as an excuse for not doing the list, and also for having kind of a simple Unplugged Project this week.


We did symmetrical paintings - putting paint on one side of a piece of paper, folding it over, and then having the paint on both sides. I folded a piece of paper and told her to paint on only one side of the fold. Paige thought it was pretty funny to try and paint on the other side of the "line." I would keep shooing her back to the "right" side of the fold. She thought this was funny. She also ended up painting herself quite a bit during this project, hence the naked artist look.



We put some paint down and I let her finger paint a little, and then we folded it, smooshed it flat, and opened it up.

It is a pretty simple project, but she seemed to think it was pretty cool.


Then Friday night we went to visit my family, and while at the beach, Paige told me that she was making a "flat sandcastle." Isn't it nice when they come up with ideas that just happen to fit the theme all on their own?

First, I'd like to thank all of you for your wonderful comments when I was feeling a bit down the other day. Things are going slightly better this week, and we may have found a way to get back in the housing game. This is such a stressful thing!

Secondly, my next post is my 100th! I can't believe it. Can I really think of 100 things about myself?

Ok, now on to your regularly scheduled Thursday List....

I think I could definitely use a canvas of happiness right about now.

Another yummy looking trifle. I wish someone in this family liked pudding besides just me, as most trifles seem to include pudding.

I'm always interested in finding out the benefits of imperfection.

Well, I guess I'm better late than never this week. I had a stressful week and had a hard time coming up with an idea I was happy with for the Unplugged theme of glass this past week. So tonight after dinner, we did one of Paige's favorite projects - we made "stained glass" suncatchers by sticking different colored tissue paper to contact paper, and then hanging it in the window. Paige actually prefers when we use glue and stick the tissue paper to wax paper, and when I said we were going to make suncatchers, she asked me where the glue was. But I told her we were going to use sticky paper, and she actually agreed fairly easily.

I had told her she could use her scissors to cut the tissue paper, as she loves to cut, but she eventually ended up just tearing some of the tissue and sticking it on the paper. I also got out some leftover glitter I had from when we did our Discovery Bottles, and she was happy to stick that on the paper too.

I stuck it in the window, which is also "glass" and took a quick picture. It was getting late, so most of my pictures are a little dark, but you get the idea.

Things are not going well.

In March we discovered that our landlord was selling our house and we needed to be out by May 15th.

We found a house we liked, and put in an offer. The bank was involved with the house and had to approve our offer. We found out it could be awhile. So we waited, and waited.

Memorial Weekend we had a marathon cleaning and packing session, filling a POD with most of our belongings. We had to leave several pieces of furniture behind, and we threw away quite a bit. We'd become overrun with clutter, and the whole process was very emotional.

Afterward, we moved into the third floor apartment of my sister-in-law's home and waited for the bank.

Last week the bank came back with a counter offer - $70,000 over what the owners had listed it for. We don't have that. The house isn't worth that.

This past Saturday we went out and found a new place we like. We were getting ready to make an offer today, when the mortgage guy calls and says there's a problem. Seems he was looking at our file and needed to update it because it's been a few months. The market is changing, he says, and he's not sure we'll still be approved for a mortgage. A few hours later we find out we aren't approved - but we would be if I made a couple thousand more a year.

I feel like doors are being slammed in my face wherever I turn and I don't know why. I've been telling Paige that we are looking for our new house, that we are going to find her a room (she didn't have her own room before) that we can decorate with Ariel. She's been excited to find it and excited to get her toys out of the Pod.

I think she'd be fine living here with her family, but she doesn't understand why if we are in our new place, why we can't get her things. I just keep telling her the new house isn't ready yet. After I hung up with the mortgage guy tonight I broke down into tears - sobs, actually. I feel like a failure as a mother. I shouldn't have told her I'd find her own room. I can't take care of my family. These are some of the fears that I choked out to Michelle while I cried.

I know I should be grateful. We are all together. We are healthy, we are happy, we have a roof over our heads, even if it isn't the one we imagined. I know I am very lucky to have family who could and did help us out. But it is still hard, and I keep fighting back tears whenever I think about it. I'm not sure what's going to happen to us.

I've heard of gratitude journals, where you jot down something you are grateful for that day, large or small. I've also seen this done on several blogs. I've also seen a few blogs post lists of things that makes the blogger happy. I've been thinking for awhile that I would like to start making some happy/grateful posts. I wonder if I'll be better about typing these things up then I would be about writing them in a notebook. We shall see.

In any event, here's the first thing I am grateful for. I am grateful for this little girl who came upstairs while Momma was sobbing. I am grateful for this little girl who sat in my lap with her Taggie blanket and Brown Bear, hugging me while I cried. I am grateful for this little girl who told me I was going to be ok.



I love you so much, my beautiful little girlie. I am so happy and grateful to have you with me.

Last week I didn't have any links for my list, and I asked anyone who likes my lists to put a link for me to look at in the comments section. Chrissy did me one better - a whole post of links!

This week I've only got a couple:

I love the idea of being a Book Experiencer but I really love the penguin cookies in this post!

This soap making project looks like fun - I've always wanted to try making soap.

If anyone has any fun links this week, please put them in the comments section so I can check them out!

When I saw the theme of this week's Unplugged Project was stone, I thought right away of a garden stone., a project I've been wanting to do with Paige. However, this week was too busy for me to get to the store to get the supplies. I'm hoping to do this eventually, though!

This week was busy, so I almost thought that I wouldn't get to do a project this week, when I had an idea. Paige and I played a game inspired by one of her favorite cartoons, Charlie and Lola.

In one episode of Charlie and Lola, "It Is Actually My Party," Lola makes all the boys at Charlie's birthday party play a game called, "Musical Statues."* So I asked Paige if she'd like to try it, and we gave it a shot. Musical statues is kind of a variation of musical chairs. You turn on some music, and the players dance. Then you randomly pause the music, and everyone has to freeze like a...well, like a statue of course. I happened to actually find rules for this game online, (scroll down) and it says that if a player moves, he or she is out. You continue to play until one person is left.

It was too hard to try and control the music and take a picture of her, so after we played I asked her to stand like a statue so I could take her picture. It came out a bit dark, but you get the idea.



*The link for the episode that Musical Statues is in plays the story, but oddly enough omits the part I'm talking about. Oh well.

I didn't take many photos this week. I was hoping that this would motivate me to work on my photos, but then I started wondering what to take pictures of. Geesh.

So here are a few new ones of Paige.

I'm really happy with the way this one turned out. We were playing "Peek-A-Boo" withe the camera while she was climbing the slide in my sister-in-law's backyard.



Another peek.



Mom, why are you taking pictures of the swings?



For more weekly winners, visit Sarcastic Mom.

Trying to catch up with some unfinished business - awhile ago Forever Daisies gave me a wonderful award, and I'd like to pass it along - finally!

Here are a few blogs that I love.

Chasing Cheerios

Little Princess Chronicles

Ramblings of a Crazy Woman

My Blog

Toddlebits

Go check 'em out!

Well, would you look at this...here it is Thursday, and I don't have a list prepared! This has been a crazy week - I started teaching summer camp, today is my friend Michelle's birthday, and things haven't been going well with our house offer, so I've been a little out of sorts.

Anyway, this afternoon I had a fun idea - I thought it'd be fun if any of you who enjoy looking at the list of links left a fun link for me to check out in the comments. I'm always looking for more fun crafty ideas, and new blogs to check out. So this week I'm making you guys do the work! I can't wait to see what you suggest!

This week's Unplugged Theme was sky. Well, we saw a lot of sky watching fireworks on both the 4th and the 5th. Paige became obssessed with them. She couldn't wait until it was dark enough on the 4th to go and see them. Poor little girlie was so excited about them that she started to cry when they were done. That's a lot of hype for a short time when you are three. Luckily we have a theme park nearby and they do fireworks every Saturday night in the summer, so we went and sat in their parking lot Saturday night to see the show. We might have to go a few more times this summer - "fireworks are awesome!!"

Here she is right before going to see the show on the 4th. I bought that shirt a couple of hours before we went out! :)



Then Sunday we did another (sort of) sky related project - we made Cloud Dough! The recipe seemed quite large, so I cut it in half when we made it. Here it is:

Cloud Dough

6 cups flour
1 1/2 cups oil
1 cup water
optional: white tempra paint

Mix, and play with!

Paige was pretty excited to make some dough - she's been missing the snow dough from our old house. Of course, she played for a long time just with the flour - I wasn't sure we were actually going to get to make the dough!




I didn't add the white paint - I didn't remember until we were all done mixing that I had some in the closet. So I suppose I would have gotten more of a "cloud color" if I'd added the paint, but it was fine without it - and I didn't have to be too worried when she tried to nibble some of it!

This is my first time joining the Weekly Winners group at Sarcastic Mom. I found the link via Beth, and thought I'd give it a try - especially since I am trying to work on my photo taking skills, so maybe this would be some helpful motivation!

As usual, my pictures are of my favorite subject, Paige. These were taken July 5th, at the school that her cousin goes to, around the corner from my mother-in-law's, where we've been camping out for the last month.



Sliding



Profiling



Smiling





Climbing





Steering



Thanks for visiting!

I like this center-peace idea.

I love these shell ideas.

I love this idea for displaying mementos from trips.

I saw a picture of a barrette decorated with balloons and Paige loved it. Here's the same idea with flip-flops! Too cool!

There has always seemed to be two distinct sides to my personality.

One side loves to learn new things. I suppose that's why I'm already missing school a little bit, even though I'm relieved to be done with my Master's program.

The other side, however, is the perfectionist side, the all or nothing side, that often ruins things for me. That's the side of me that takes the fun out of learning new things, makes me compare what I'm doing to what others are doing, and if I don't measure up in my mind, tries to tell me to quit. Sometimes I'm afraid to even try, thinking what it'll be like if it doesn't turn out the way I think it should.

I'm trying more and more lately to push myself into trying things, and to change my mind set that it is ok to do something you enjoy, even if you aren't the best at it. Writing in my blog is one of them!

I've always enjoyed taking pictures, especially since I first got a digital camera and could take a million pictures and see what they looked like right away. However, I'm not very good at it. Roland takes much better pictures, and it has always frustrated me that I can take a hundred pictures and not get what I want, and call him over and with a quick snap and a, "there you go," he's produced the picture I wanted so badly. It makes me want to give up.

But, I'm trying really hard to tell myself to keep trying. I've been reading a lot of tips on blogs (I so love blogging) for first time photographers, and the number one tip is to take tons and tons of pictures. So while we were doing the Unplugged Project on Sunday, I followed my favorite little subject around and just kept taking pictures, trying new angles and other ideas all the lists for "taking better pictures" suggested.

Roland and I both like how this one turned out, although he pointed out that her bum is hanging out. Now I need to learn editing too!





There's something about this photo I really like, even though I'm disappointed it came out so blurry. Blurry is my number one problem with picture taking.



Some of the tips say to try taking pictures from behind. This worked good on this day because you could see the pretty french braid that Roland's mom put in her hair. Another thing for me to learn.



Some of the tips suggested filling the frame with the person you were taking the picture of. I'm so glad I tried it - these two aren't the best pictures in the world but I'm in love with them.





After showing Roland my "photo shoot" with Paige, he said that maybe he should have a photo shoot with her. Part of me wants him to because I know he'll get some beautiful shots. And part of me doesn't want him to because I know he'll get some beautiful shots.